09/01/25
First Day Jitters:
Today marked our first rehearsal in Acting Studio 313, which ran from 6:30 to 10:30 p.m. The primary goal for the evening was to work through songs 5, 9, 10, 11, 15, and 17 in order to hear how everyone’s voices blend together and to begin building a sense of ensemble cohesion. Since this was our first official rehearsal, I experienced a wave of excitement and nervous energy in the room. Everyone came ready to work! I felt inspired hearing how each person’s tone and vocal style contributed to the overall sound of the group. My greatest challenge during this rehearsal was learning the music. I found myself relying too much on others at first, so I made a conscious effort to put myself in a position where I didn’t have to depend on hearing the surrounding voices to find my pitch or rhythm. That forced me to take full ownership of my part and to listen with both precision and confidence. It was uncomfortable at first, but it ultimately helped me become more self-reliant as a singer. This rehearsal also made me aware of how hesitant I can be when it comes to singing out. I realized that my instinct is often to hold back out of fear. It’s so embarrassing when my voice cracks or I sing the wrong note. To avoid any of that, I tried singing lower to blend in but that did not work. Chris encouraged us to “let it rip,” as he likes to say because it embraces the imperfections that come with taking risks. His feedback reminded me that confidence is an essential part of performance and that the rehearsal room is the safest place to make mistakes. Once I let go of that internal pressure, I noticed a genuine difference in my sound and energy. Singing without fear felt incredibly freeing. It gave me a new sense of trust in my own abilities. Before callbacks, we were encouraged to download an app called MTI RehearScore, which allows us to isolate our individual vocal lines. I found this tool to be extremely helpful. It has helped me focus on the specific harmonies and rhythms of my part without being distracted by other sections. I plan to rehearse with it daily so that the music becomes second nature. Each transition should eventually turn into muscle memory. My goal is to be fully confident with my part by the next rehearsal so that I can focus on accuracy of pitches. I’m slightly intimidated by the number of songs we have to learn, but I understand that this level of intensity is part of the process. Godspell requires high vocal demands, so I’m making a conscious effort to warm up properly, stay hydrated, and protect my voice from fatigue.
09/04/25
Assigned Characters:
Today was our second rehearsal, held in Space 209 from 6:30 to 10:30 p.m. Our focus for the evening was on songs 1, 2, 3, 14, and 17. We received our character tracks and vocal assignments last night, which I was incredibly excited about. I’ve been placed in the role of Celisse who is a quirky, attention-loving character. She seems to thrive as the class clown of the group. Based on Chris’s shared document, I discovered that although I play Celisse, my name will actually become the name of my character within the ensemble numbers. I also learned that I won’t necessarily sing all of Celisse’s solo parts, which surprised me. However, I understand that this decision is made for blending purposes. Chris’s vision is to make sure the ensemble sound remains balanced and cohesive. Ultimately, the goal is for us to sound unified as a cast, creating a performance that engages audiences and makes them want to come back for more. Once we began singing together, some of the harmonies and melodies became a bit wonky when everyone’s voices combined; especially in “Day By Day.” I noticed that my ear naturally wants to match the pitch of whoever I’m standing near. Not a good thing because it throws off my accuracy when I’m assigned a middle harmony line. This rehearsal made me aware of several vocal habits I didn’t realize I had. Many of the notes I sang were being held a quarter too long. I also lacked clear diction at times and slid up to pitches instead of landing on them cleanly. These are small details, but they make a significant difference in tight ensemble work.
Chris actually gave us a helpful note, to circle everything we haven’t mastered and practice those sections slowly in the MTI RehearScore app. A great thing with that app involves adjusting the tempo. He reminded us that mastery comes from slowing down, isolating problem spots, and building accuracy from there. Despite the challenges, we made strong progress as a group. Rehearsal was certainly taxing, but as Chris joked, “we didn’t catch on fire,” so I’ll call that a win. I plan to spend the rest of my evening reviewing the difficult sections and correcting my pitch errors so that I walk into the next rehearsal feeling ready to contribute fully to the ensemble sound.
09/05/25
Prologue Madness:
Today marked our third rehearsal in Space 209, from 7:30 to 10:30 p.m. The evening’s agenda covered songs 1, 2, 3, 9, and 14. We spent a significant amount of time devoted to the Prologue, which proved to be the most challenging piece of music so far. The constant key changes that sometimes shift every four measures made the song a bit overwhelming. It’s also performed entirely acappella so that’s fun. I entered rehearsal confident showing that I knew my sections, but once we began, everyone was singing completely different harmonies. No one took the correct tempos which threw me off and caused me to lose my place multiple times. By the end of the night, we managed to clean up many of the rhythmic inconsistencies. It wasn’t easy, but we made progress. When the harmonies locked in, it actually sounded beautiful. Chris updated our shared Google Doc with additional vocal warm-ups, including Sight Reading Factory and the Ella app. They help with pitch accuracy, range, and sight-reading. The group also discovered some minor discrepancies within the MTI RehearScore app. It would occasionally skipping a note or two for certain songs if you isolated your part. Tonight my main goal is to master the tricky entrances in the Prologue and build enough confidence to hold my pitch even when surrounded by complex harmonies. I also plan to handwrite all my lyrics, as Chris requested. It’s a small but meaningful way to connect more deeply with the music and show investment in the work. Though the rehearsal was mentally taxing, I left feeling motivated to approach tomorrow’s rehearsal with greater accuracy.
09/06/25
Fast Paced Rhythms:
Today marked our fourth rehearsal in Studio 209, this time from 1:30 to 6:00 p.m. My handwritten song lyrics are steadily coming together. Although we haven’t received an official deadline yet, I want to finish them soon to avoid falling behind. Chris reminded us to pay close attention to punctuation when transcribing our lyrics. The music emphasizes how easy it will be to understand the musical phrasing. Initially, I assumed that punctuation wouldn’t make much difference, but as I began writing, I realized how many commas, exclamation points, and other markings there actually are. Those details completely changed how I thought about singing. It made me realize that singing is about communication and intention. Every pause, every breath, and every consonant has meaning. Taking an unnecessary breath in the middle of a phrase can disrupt the sense of a complete thought. It will also make your diction less clear to those who don’t know the songs. In a way, punctuation gives the music its breath and structure. Our agenda for the day was ambitious: songs 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8, 9, and 14. It was a heavy load of music to cover, but we managed to move efficiently through some of the musical numbers. Song 8, “All for the Best,” was especially challenging due to how wordy and rhythmically tight it is. It’s the kind of piece where taking even a single misplaced breath can throw you off entirely. You spend more time chasing the beat instead of leading it. I also struggled with navigating sudden jumps between high and low notes. However, I’m confident that with more focused listening and repetition through MTI RehearScore, those transitions will begin to feel more natural. While writing out the lyrics, I noticed that many of the songs share a recurring message or theme, even when phrased differently. Chris reminded us to prioritize listening to each other because it ‘ll help us blend and breathe as one rather than as eleven separate voices. That note really stuck with me and it’s something I intend to carry forward. Moving into the next rehearsal, my focus will be on maintaining clarity in diction, controlling my breath through longer passages, and listening more intentionally to my castmates.
09/07/25
Vocally Tired:
Today was our fifth rehearsal in Space 209, running from 11:15 a.m. to 4:45 p.m. It was a long, demanding day of singing, and by the end, my throat felt extremely hoarse. I may have pushed my voice a bit too hard after rehearsal by replaying my parts repeatedly and layering in other vocal lines to test how well I knew my pitches. Even though repetition helps with accuracy, it created unnecessary strain on my vocal cords. Moving forward, I want to be more intentional about singing safely and allowing my voice proper rest and recovery. Revisiting the Google Doc that Chris shared earlier in the process, I noticed he had included several resources about healthy vocal practices and singing while sick or strained. Those links have become my immediate forms resource. Maintaining vocal health is just as important as learning the music, especially with a show this vocally demanding. In rehearsal, we focused on songs 1, 2, 3, 6, 7, 9, 14, and 15. We’re gradually beginning to lock into the correct harmonies. There are still moments when we collectively jump to the wrong note and clash which is okay for now. To address this, Chris spent time isolating individual parts so we could sing on correct pitches. That made my experience rewarding because it showed me that no matter how frustrating this material might be, there is someone who is striving for our success. Since my throat was sore, I took it easier vocally than usual. My focus was more on listening and marking notes. If I pushed, it would have made my situation worse. Chris reminded us, “I know this show can be very taxing on our bodies and voices, but when we come together, the show will truly blend beautifully.” It reminded me that no matter the amount of fatigue, we have to remain invested, find joy in the process, and trust that the hard work will pay off. My goal for the next rehearsal is to balance my dedication with discipline. I want to strengthen my endurance through proper technique so that I can give my full effort in every rehearsal while keeping my instrument healthy.
09/08/25
Rehearse, Rehearse, Rehearse:
Today marked day six of rehearsal in Space 209 from 9:00 to 10:00 p.m. A few of the cast members have been trickling in and out for another production they are involved in. Their absences has tested my ability to stay grounded in my pitch without depending on others for support. It became clear that true ensemble strength comes from individual accountability. Chris reminded us that this show requires consistent work outside of rehearsal. Once staging and choreography are finalized, we may not be standing anywhere near the same people we rehearse next to now; so we can’t rely on waiting for others to start before we do. We need to know our parts well enough to enter confidently because once you fade out in any of the music, you cannot come back in. He encouraged us to use the RehearScore app while he’s working with other groups in the room. Without the comfort of surrounding voices, I sometimes second-guess my pitch. Fun fact: I run out of breath really easily. For tomorrow, I plan to practice the music with minimal accompaniment as well as going partially off book. I want to focus on breathing support since nervousness tends to make my breath shallow. Our agenda for the night included songs 1, 2, 7, 9, and 15. Though it was a shorter rehearsal, it still felt productive.
09/09/25
Taking Risks:
Today marked day seven of rehearsal in Space 209 from 7:30 to 10:30 p.m. Our musical agenda for the evening included songs 1, 2, 5, 10, 15, and 18. The night before, I challenged myself to go partially off book for a few of the songs while still ensuring that I stayed in the correct keys. I wanted to begin building muscle memory early so that the material feels more instinctive later in the process. I stumbled through a lot of transitions, but I was genuinely surprised by how much I retained. Singing without relying so heavily on the libretto allowed me to feel more present and connected to the material. I even began experimenting with small gestures and physical choices that I might incorporate once we move onto staging the show. As the saying goes, it’s difficult to explore your character fully if your head is buried in the book. This experience reaffirmed that I learn best when I’m physically and emotionally engaged in the work rather than just repeating notes on the page. Godspell demands openness and authenticity from everyone involved. It’s not about simply reciting lines. We have to work together by bringing a piece of ourselves to the storytelling. Personally, that will allow me to take bigger risks in rehearsal even when I’m uncertain. I’ve also been continuing my work with diction using the Ella app. I’m able to sing the correct pitch by just looking at it. My biggest challenge right now is managing the lingering hoarseness in my voice. Even my regular speaking voice is losing its tone quality. For next time, my goal is to focus on vocal health and endurance. I need to hydrate more and sing with energy without straining. I also want to continue practicing off book.
09/10/25
Shifts in Music:
Today marked day eight of rehearsal in Space 209 from 6:30 to 10:00 p.m. A few cast members from Dial M were still missing, but the vocal rehearsal still continued. My voice felt significantly better today! I’ve been resting to protect it. Chris had recommended throat lozenges called Grether’s Pastillies, which come in a variety of flavors. While I’m not a fan of grape flavor, they’ve been very helpful in maintaining vocal comfort. In addition, Chris has provided resources about vocal health that demonstrate how to sing without creating tension in the neck or shoulders. Very valuable for building long-term vocal stamina. Our agenda for the evening included songs 1, 2, 5, 10, and 18. During rehearsal, we made some adjustments to “On the Willows,” changing a lyric from “lyres” to “lives” and locking the key in at a minor third. Many of the song assignments are still shifting, which has posed a challenge for me. I struggled to sing my notes immediately because I’d gotten too comfortable singing a different vocal part. Chris reminded me to approach every line I sing as if it were my own little solo because it’ll strengthen my musical independence. I plan to spend extra time reviewing my new part assignments in RehearScore. I also want to continue prioritizing vocal health. My vocal folds/track to remain strong and supported for the more taxing rehearsals ahead.
09/11/25
Turn Back! Oh Man:
Today marked our ninth rehearsal in Room 209, from 6:45 to 10:00 p.m. Our agenda included songs 1, 2, 5, 6, 7, 12, and 18. One of the more challenging pieces for me was Turn Back O Man due to its upbeat rhythm. I’ve been practicing it outside of rehearsal, but for some reason, I struggled to lock into the tempo during our session. While I greatly appreciate the RehearScore app, its automated piano can feel different from a live accompanist. Slight variations in timing or tempo can dramatically change the way a rhythm feels. No amount of digital rehearsal can replace live practice and attentive listening. The Finale song also presented challenges, particularly in managing the swells and crescendos. I had to focus on controlling my dynamics. This musical score is so interesting instrumentally that singing too light or heavy will cause you to lose the emotional feel to the song. Chris often reminds us that every song “should have color and grow so that it sounds vocally interesting,” and I’m actively working on embodying that principle in each number. Rehearsal was cut short due to an actor emergency, which I used as an opportunity to rest my voice. My biggest challenge right now is mastering the rhythm of Turn Back O Man and maintaining vocal control in every number. For the next rehearsal, my goal is to add color to my parts without hesitation.
09/12/25
Independent Work:
I wasn’t called for rehearsal so I used that opportunity to continue working independently with the music apps from the Google Doc. I’ve been focusing on a few songs I consider particularly challenging: Prologue and On the Willows. While On the Willows is technically simpler because of its repetitive structure, we haven’t spent as much time on it in rehearsal as I would like. It’s such a beautiful piece and I want to internalize it fully. Prologue, on the other hand, is far more complex. There are roughly five groups singing different rhythms simultaneously. Some people sing every eighth note, some sing on downbeats, and others in unusual syncopation. The diction is equally tricky. If you misplace a single “doot” or “da” you will throw yourself off the rhythm entirely. Despite all this, surprisingly, Prologue has been one of the easiest songs for me to memorize. I’m almost off book for it! My biggest challenge continues to be navigating rhythms, diction, and dynamics simultaneously. For the next rehearsal, I hope to solidify pitches I’m still unfamiliar with.
09/13/25 – 09/15/25
Long Weekend:
These past few days of rehearsal, with dinner breaks in between, have been particularly eye-opening. Chris asked us to practice singing in the mirror at home to observe mannerisms that we might not notice otherwise. I discovered several of my own habits like shaking my head when reaching for high notes, closing my eyes, scrunching my face when I make a mistake, and adding diphthongs on consonants. I often shake my head or close my eyes subconsciously because I think it enhances my performance, but in reality, it doesn’t. Chris’s guidance has been to break the habit of anticipating notes too early. His reminder for the past two weeks has been “no premature s”. A very funny statement if you ask me, but it’s a valid point. Listening to everyday music has helped me understand how singers approach vowels and consonants: for example, in a word like “ways,” the “a” is held lightly and then released with the “us” sharply at the measure’s end for clarity. Right now my notes still sound a bit sloppy because even though I understand the technique, I haven’t consistently applied it in rehearsal. My biggest challenge moving forward is correcting these ingrained habits. My goal for the next rehearsal is to integrate this awareness into my singing. I want to perform my parts cleanly.
09/16/25
One-on-One/ Group Rehearsal:
Almost time for the Sunday read/sing-through of Godspell! I’m both excited and nervous. Excited because we’ve spent weeks building as a group and individually, and nervous because my voice has been unpredictable lately. Today was my individual timeslot and I came prepared with a list of songs I found challenging: Prologue, On the Willows, Learn Your Lessons Well, Bless the Lord, and Turn Back O’ Man. As I noted in previous reflections, Prologue has become one of the easier songs for me, despite its apparent chaos. We didn’t get to Learn Your Lessons Well today because I had just been moved to the lower part the day before. For the most part, I felt confident with the pitches and notes—it was just a matter of singing them out. However, my voice wasn’t fully cooperating tonight. Overuse during practice the night before left my vocal cords worn out. My notes sounded very pitchy and unsupported. Following recommendations, I sang lightly for the later half of the session. One realization from my individual session was that hearing others slightly out of pitch, even when I was correct, can throw me off more than I expected. My biggest challenge moving forward is managing my vocal stamina while maintaining pitch accuracy. My goal for tonight and tomorrow is to take proper vocal rest.
09/17/25
Pay Close Attention:
Today’s rehearsal didn’t follow a strict schedule. We focused on cleaning up songs that needed extra attention. Chris reminded us that every song in Godspell carries meaning whether it’s about God, saving people, praying for love, or learning lessons well. Maintaining that energy consistently is essential to making the rehearsal feel alive. I’ve noticed a personal habit of overemphasizing certain words which traces back to when we wrote out all the lyrics. I need to go back and review every single punctuation/phrasing. I have to remind myself that singing is a group effort so listening to others is just as important as projecting my own part. Chris compared tackling these difficult sections to facing a boss in a video game stating that “The boss is at a really high level, and you have to beat it. Don’t let it beat you.” I have to mentally remember when singing, that the “boss battle” mindset will help me maintain focus.
09/19/25 – 09/20/25
Cast Sickness:
This week felt strangely long, even though I’ve technically been out for one rehearsal day. Not having a call time, followed by a day with no rehearsal at all, made it feel like I hadn’t been in the room forever. When we finally returned to Room 209, the schedule was a 6:30pm–10:00pm evening rehearsal and then a 12pm–6pm rehearsal the next day. Both sessions were heavily music-focused because we had a significant amount of material to get through. Saturday I had a later call time because of box office duty for Dial “M”. Balancing rehearsal with my theatre job is always a little stressful, but I’m proud that I stayed committed to both responsibilities. It ties into the Senior Project criteria about adherence to schedules and professionalism. I’m doing my best to stay on top of everything. A major challenge this week has been the sickness going around the cast. Almost everyone seems to be fighting something, and unfortunately it finally caught up to me. Boy has it hit me like a truck. Being sick during a music-heavy portion of the process is frustrating. Since my voice is such a big part of the work, being congested made me lose focus.
I couldn’t sing as strongly or clearly as I wanted to. There will be better days once this sickness is over. To handle this, I’m challenging myself to not sing a lot and instead listen to the vocal tracks while humming.
09/21/25
Read/Sing Through
Today was our read/sing-through: a rehearsal where the full cast, music director, the director, and the rest of the team came together to hear what we’ve been working on for the past month. I actually think it went well! There were a few places where I didn’t feel fully confident in, like the “man on his way to Jericho” drumming bit. Prior to read/sing through, I practiced various beats. However, once I got into the room I think all of that practice went out of the window. It was refreshing to hear everyone’s interpretations of the dialogue. Collectively we made bold choices in discovering new things about the show. For the most part, it sounded like everyone had a strong grasp on what their characters were saying. There were definitely a few mistakes here and there, but we pushed through them as a team. Since most of our earlier rehearsals were focused purely on music, we didn’t get a chance to smooth out some of the more awkward dialogue transitions. There’s a section with random “la’s” and “doo’s” in Act I that comes out of nowhere. I’m interested in seeing how we’re going to navigate that section. Chris gave me an important note on my solo line in the Prologue: I cannot slow down. If I drag even slightly, I throw off everyone else. It is almost impossible to jump back in cleanly. I also need to work on taking much bigger breaths, especially going into long phrases. When I don’t prepare the breath correctly, I fall off early and once that happens there’s no real way to re-enter without affecting the rest of the ensemble’s dynamic. Moving forward, I want to strengthen my rhythmic confidence so I don’t second-guess the beat.
09/23/25 – 09/24/25
Welcome to WonderBread:
Tonight we officially moved into WonderBread to begin the dialogue portion of the show. So far, most of our time has been spent playing team-building games instead of diving straight into the script. Honestly, this ended up being a much-needed reset for my brain because for the past twenty three odd days I’ve been strictly focused on music. Getting to shift gears and step away from constant vocal work felt refreshing. The games were designed to help us reconnect as a cast and learn how to function as one unit. Even though they were fun, I caught myself getting a little impatient at times because I wanted to start tackling the dialogue. I’m aware that some of the text demands quick thinking and strong listening skills so I’m anxious to get time with it. I’m planning to stay on top of that by practicing responding in the moment rather than memorizing line-by-line patterns. Another thing I noticed during the games was how easily I drift out of focus when the room gets energetic. That’s something I want to improve for when we take on dialogue rehearsals. I can tune in without getting overwhelmed by the group dynamic. I think the bonding will make the upcoming dialogue work smoother.
09/27/25 – 09/28/25
Parables and Blocking:
Over the course of two days, we were given the task in rehearsal to perform our modernized version of the parables. We weren’t just following the text; we were reimagining it, translating timeless stories into language, gestures, and emotions that made sense for us today. At first it was intimidating. I kept asking myself if my choices would feel too modern or too far from the heart of the story, but the beauty of the process was that nothing was deemed “correct or incorrect”. We split into groups and in doing so, I found myself experimenting a lot with tone and physicality. Some parables felt funnier than I expected, some hit harder, and some were just awkward, which was okay because each misstep became a lesson. The parables weren’t mine alone; they belonged to all of us, and the magic came from balancing individuality with ensemble harmony. What I loved most was realizing how much freedom we had to play with meaning. Small choices like a modern slang word would completely shift the impact of a moment. Some of my instincts didn’t land, sure, but the process of testing them taught me more about nuance than any perfectly “safe” choice ever could. By the end of the rehearsal, I felt like I was breathing life into these stories in a way that felt relevant and honest to our generation. It was messy at times, but reminded me why theatre is my favorite kind of work.
10/02/25 – 10/05/25
Iowa Short Film:
Good evening journal! I’m currently in Iowa for a short film, however, that is not stopping me from working on Godspell. I’ve taken the time to read over the script for the third time ever since callbacks. I wanted to make sure that when it’s time for me to go back into rehearsal, I’d be prepared to answer any questions about my understanding of the parables. There’s a lot of storytelling in this show that will become challenging to come up with as a team. We’re a group of 11 people in total with different creative minds; I’m hopeful that we will have some time to collaborate with each other’s understanding of what’s being told. I’ve drawn the connection between the songs and the actual dialogue. A lot of what we sing about are lessons that we as a group have learned about the parables among Jesus; we’re not just singing to sing. I have no idea how we’re going to work out the drumming situation that I have to do about “a man on his way to Jericho…” I’ve tried working it out during the read/sing through we had. I felt like it worked for a little bit and then further in the text it became a bit painfully dreadful. Acting is all about making choices to see what fits in the moment. Safe to say I was just experimenting. I will continue to memorize my lines and put the actions to my words once I return back to campus on the sixth of October. I’ve also started working on the background/history of the play regarding what Godspell is and it’s coming along great.
10/06/25 – 10/07/25
Catch Up:
Today was my official first day back, and I felt completely lost. I walked into rehearsal feeling like I was stepping into a world that had been moving forward without me. I wasn’t sure how to rejoin them at all. Everything had changed since I’d been gone. All the blocking I learned was modified into something else. There was a Hamilton-inspired beatboxing section thrown into the mix, choreography for a Tylor Swift song, and random Doordash moments that somehow became part of the staging. At first glance, it felt like someone had taken Godspell, shaken it up, and sprinkled in extra chaos just for fun. For the first half of rehearsal, I was honestly just trying to survive. My brain kept short-circuiting between previous blocking and trying to learn new blocking. There were moments where I tripped over or ran into everyone else who seemed to already know where they were going. I kept thinking to myself if I was ever going to catch up. Somewhere in the middle of all that panic, I realized I could actually start to catch up. Slowly but surely, I started syncing with the rest of the cast. The Taylor Swift choreography that felt impossible in the first ten minutes started to make sense. I found the rhythm in the beatboxing section and realized I could actually move and sing without completely falling apart. By the end of rehearsal, I wasn’t perfect but I was moving with confidence I didn’t have when I walked in. I can fall behind and still catch up. The highlight of the night was the cast helping guide me through the blocking. My goal for next rehearsal is to try and make sense of the blocking that I remember.
10/8/25
The Gospel of Mark.
We began with the discussion of The Gospel According to Mark. In listening to others speak, I noticed how differently each person holds their faith. A lot of us were passionate about the topic and some were not. We learned a lot within a short timeframe of talking about it. The information that stuck with me the most was stations of the cross in certain churches are means of meditation. Don’t lean into the parables; we have to know when to tell the story and move on. The transition of that to staging the rest of Act 2 happened rather abruptly. I still felt like I was lost in the blocking. We worked rather fast with the blocking that I couldn’t keep up at times. Things were being changed right and left so that caused me to tense up. Act 2 isn’t smooth yet, but it exists now. That is something powerful. Tonight I plan to let all the information just soak in. My mind is a bit jumbled right now so I need a break to let everything settle. It’ll help me to walk into rehearsal tomorrow with a fresh mindset. I want to continue to bring my ideas to the group because we make things a team effort.
10/09/25
Dig a little deeper:
Rehearsal tonight felt like I was searching for something valuable. We spent the evening living inside scenes 2.12 and 2.13 just taking them apart and putting them back together. Every beat needed attention in order for each transition to be understood more deeply. The work was slow but the slowness had purpose. Theatre is a practice of patience because its brilliance comes in flashes. There were many moments of frustration too. After blocking, my mind was so wrapped up in how I would catch up before the show gets put on the stage for an audience. Near the end of rehearsal something in me settled. I leaned into choices even if they were wrong. If I entered too early I stayed or moved the wrong direction then I made that path look intentional until stopped. Odd enough, my errors gave me stability and I began to remember more. Precision began to grow from ownership. I am not finished and I am not polished but I am finally on a path that feels right.
10/10/25 – 10/14/25
Physically Demanding:
I walked into the rehearsal room today feeling the work of yesterday. There is something real about returning to a space after the first layer of confusion. We are no longer newbies to this process. It’s all coming to me as second nature. I tried to ground myself before we started with my feet connected to the floor breathing steadily. I told myself I do not need to impress anyone. Instead I only need to be honest and present. We worked through movement again and though my body remembered more than I expected there was still hesitation at the edges. At first every word from the show felt foreign to me because I didn’t understand half of it. Then slowly the sentences started to form and I could understand the message; I felt that development tonight was enough to move through rehearsal with intention.There were moments where I drifted though. Fatigue can sneak up on you so even though we stayed on our feet the majority of the time, during our breaks, I’d be ready to take a night’s rest. I know I must get off book very soon so I plan to work on memorization. I want to come back stronger each time.
10/15/25 – 10/19/25
Choreography:
Choreography completely swallowed this entire week. Everyday had its own mini battle between what my body thought it could do and what the choreography actually demanded. On the 15th my body was not connecting for a few of the moves. Nothing wanted to sync, and I spent most of rehearsal pretending I understood the counts even though I was two beats behind. By the 16th, my mind was still racing ahead of my feet. I could picture the steps perfectly, but the moment the music started my body panicked and fell right back into confusion. I mixed up directions so many times , but made sure I asked questions to avoid falling behind. The nonstop drilling helped, even when it was frustrating. Every move involving repetition smoothed out the rough patches until the movements finally started sticking. Then something shifted on the 17th, almost like the choreography finally introduced itself properly. What used to feel like separate steps suddenly blended into a story. I could see the intention behind each moment instead of just remembering it. The whole cast started moving with more awareness. Sure we still bumped into each other and restarted some sections more than we wanted to, but there was a sense of shared rhythm that wasn’t there before; the 18th hit me like a wall. Every new note felt like I was being handed another task when I was already at capacity. My body was exhausted after dancing twice as hard. Underneath all that frustration, I could tell the choreography was living somewhere deeper than muscle memory. Finally, on the 19th, it all came together in a way I didn’t expect. The spacing felt natural, the timing locked in, and my body finally trusted the steps enough for me to actually perform. I wasn’t fighting the music anymore; I was riding it. By the end of the night, I walked out tired with my head held high.
10/21/25 – 10/23/25
The Stumble Through:
The stumble-through hit me in a weird way because it made me suddenly aware of how much of the show I actually have living in my body now. I went into it nervous, not because I thought I’d fail, but because I wasn’t sure which version of myself would show up. When I just let myself do the thing, I’m fine. The second I told myself “Don’t mess this up,” was exactly when I started forgetting everything. During the run, I was still unsure of a lot of the blocking. It wasn’t perfect at all. There were spots where I was not in the right place at all. I did remember to keep moving and stay present even after feeling embarrassed for doing the wrong blocking. I wasn’t mad about the mistakes; I was more curious about them. Usually I’m quick to beat myself up, but this time I just treated the stumble-through like a snapshot of where I am right now. Not the finished product, but what I brung as an actor to rehearsal today.
10/24/25
Designer Run:
Much like the stumble through, the designer run showed better progress for me. I knew it was coming and spent the days before nailing down my blocking. The second all the designers took their seats with their little notebooks and quiet faces, I felt more eager to put on a show for them. Of course a few errors were still made which made me realize how much I hide behind the idea that I’ll “fix it later,”. The designer run doesn’t give you that luxury to fix it. Once the designer sees your blocking, they are ready to position the lights during certain moments of the show. The slightest change can throw off their artistic directions easily. They see you exactly as you are that day through mistakes, hesitations, instincts, guesses, and all the messy stuff in between. I caught myself second-guessing choices I’d been confident in just a rehearsal earlier. I stayed focused and thought about how my work connects to theirs. It was still nerve-wracking, don’t get me wrong, but I walked away with a better sense of responsibility. I was helping build something with them, and they’re helping support me. The whole run feels less like being judged and more like being understood.
10/25/25
Sitzprobe:
The sitzprobe felt like opening the show wide and letting my heart fall straight through it. I didn’t expect it to hit me as hard as it did, but the moment the band started playing, it was like hearing the songs for the first time even after rehearsing them for weeks. I could feel the music in my chest in a way that made me want to laugh and cry at the same time. I’m used to relying on the piano or the track to help me stay grounded, but with the full sound underneath me, I had to find this new balance to sing through each instrument. There were a few moments where I felt a little swallowed by it, like my voice wasn’t being heard over the band, but that’s ok. It actually taught me a lot about how strong my instincts have gotten. Even when I felt swallowed, I wasn’t lost. Being able to hear/see everyone else shine in that space was just as special. It made the show feel alive in a way it never had before. The sitzprobe reminded me why I wanted to do a musical in the first place. It made the whole process feel real.
10/26/25 – 10/31/25
Tech Preparation:
With our time in WonderBread coming to an end, we can begin tech preparation. Tech actually crept up on me faster than I expected. One second we were still in the rehearsal room joking about missing choreography then the next second I was staring at my script trying to make sure every tiny moment made sense. Now we’re finally down to making the show happen. We’re about to bring the whole world of the show together. I spent a lot of time just walking through transitions on my own, quietly marking the steps. I marked things like where I enter, where I cross, who I pass, what I need in my hands, what I have to drop off. It wasn’t an easy process at all, but it grounded me. What surprised me most was how much I needed to slow myself down. I always think tech means speeding up and pushing harder because everyone has a life outside of the rehearsal room. In the works of it all, I found myself reminding myself that the show isn’t something I have to chase. I challenged myself to practice imagining the lights, the sound cues, the timing of scene changes, even before we had them. It helped me feel less intimidated by what was coming. The hardest part was fighting the feeling that I wasn’t “ready enough.” There’s this pressure to walk into tech as the best version of yourself, like the work should already be perfect so the designers can do their jobs. The more I prepared though, the more I realized that perfection isn’t what tech is for. Tech is going to be messy and awkward at times. By the time tech actually arrived, I felt strangely calm. It meant that I finally trusted myself to handle whatever came up. And that shift, honestly, felt like the most valuable preparation of all.
11/01/25 – 11/04/25
Wandelprobe and Down to the Wire:
The wandelprobe felt like slipping into a new kind of skin. There’s something strange about singing while walking the actual paths we’ll take onstage; every corner gets coated in sound. I didn’t expect it to be emotional, but it was. There was a moment where I caught myself looking around at everyone moving together, all of us humming or marking harmonies as we crossed paths, and it hit me how close we are to actually showing this to an audience. For me, the wandelprobe was mostly about finding breath. I kept realizing how different a line feels when I have to step up onto something right before singing it or crossing the stage faster than I rehearsed because the rhythm pushes me forward. What stood out the most was the way the space itself changed us. Standing in the real sound of the theatre and not the rehearsal room made everything feel sharper. Honestly, it made me more aware of my responsibility. Once we step into that world, there’s no hiding. My voice, my choices, and timing all belong within the stage. That realization gave me a mix of excitement and nerves. With the pay-what-you-can preview creeping closer, I can feel the pressure but it’s pressure that I’m ready for.
11/05/25
Pay What You Can Preview:
Tonight was the first night we put the show in front of an audience on the Klein Theatre stage. There were far more people than I expected, especially for a PWYC preview. (PWYC)Pay What You Can Preview is similar to a tech rehearsal but with an audience. It allows anyone,mostly college students, to see the show for whatever amount they choose. Some people pay a penny, some pay ten dollars, and some even pay close to a hundred. It creates a really energetic, but unpredictable crowd. The first half of the show felt a bit jumbled as we tried to remember choreography. Several dance movements had just been adjusted the night before the preview so it became a battle of memory. I could feel everyone getting in their heads about the changes. A lot of the musical numbers with choreography started slipping out of tempo and once that happened, it became easy to lose track of how many times a move repeated. I definitely felt myself sticking out at times, which made me nervous and second-guess the choreography even more. I’m sure it looked cleaner from the audience’s point of view, but inside the ensemble it felt like a domino effect. Since I was so focused on getting the dance transitions right, I carried that mental tension into my solo. It actually threw off my opening lyrics. My line should have been “But if that light’s under a bushel, it’s lost something kinda crucial,” but the night before I had gotten a line note about the end of the song where I incorrectly said “But if the tallest candle stick ain’t much good without a wick.” There isn’t supposed to be an “if” in that line. I was so worried about messing up that ending again that I ended up starting the song with the candle stick line instead. At that moment, I felt embarrassed because I knew it was the wrong lyric, but the show had to go on. Tonight taught me that I need to work on staying grounded when unexpected changes happen. When choreography shifts, I tend to overthink and lose trust in the muscle memory I built during rehearsal. To overcome that, I’m going to review each dance sequence slowly on my own, then run it at full tempo while singing to build consistency. I also want to practice releasing mistakes immediately instead of holding onto them for the rest of the show because it starts to affect my performance.
11/06/25:
Opening Night:
Something shifted in the air today before we even started warming up. It felt like everyone walked into Klein wanting to make up for the other night. The moments where we missed choreography, hesitated, and when we weren’t breathing together as a unit. I could feel that determination buzzing around us. Even in the dressing room a lot of us were quieter, but focused on the performance approaching. With my dad, his girlfriend, and my partner in the audience, I felt this pressure; the good kind. When the show started, we hit every moment with intent. Once the time had reached the ending, all that focus and adrenaline I’d been carrying caused me to dive deep in the moment. I cried hard because it suddenly felt real like we were building something together that was bigger than a musical. It was the kind of crying that comes from relief and the shock of actually being proud of yourself.
11/07/25
All about Emotions:
It felt good to step back into the space today with the memory of last night still glowing underneath everything. We didn’t have to force the energy tonight because it picked up where we left off. I could see it in how moved we felt as actors as well as the crowd. They were lively tonight. Filled with lots of joy and energy to fuel our performance. Ciara’s parents were in the audience tonight and it reminded me that something about family being present always heightens everything. Families who know us outside the theatre get to watch us create something beautiful onstage. It’s such a blessing knowing that there are supportive parents out there. Lots of parents don’t have time to watch the successes of their kids, but when they do, it pays off. During the finale, the emotion hit again—not in a messy way, but in this warm, expanding way, like the show itself is teaching us how to feel more deeply each night. I cried again in remembrance of the night before. It’s strange how a performance can make you emotional in totally different ways from one day to the next.
11/08/25
Sore Throat:
My throat woke me up bright and early before my alarm did today. It was that sharp, scratchy kind of sore where even swallowing feels like dragging something rough down your esophagus. I tried humming on the way to the theatre and immediately felt pain. I was furious because Godspell doesn’t give you space to hide your voice. Every song demands brightness and clarity, but tonight I barely had any of those. I couldn’t sing my duo part in the Prologue because my throat was growing increasingly dry. I tried taking the berry medley throat lozenges which worked short term. I could feel the strain with every line. I made sure to keep pushing just enough to stay in the moment. It’s challenging when your body won’t match the spirit you’re trying to bring. I left the theatre tired in a way that felt deeper than usual. I wanted to give my all into the performance, but my voice did not. At the end of the day, I still showed up. I still took on doing the show and I’m very proud of that.
11/09/25
It Won’t Go Away:
The sore throat definitely wasn’t done with me today. It has somewhat gotten better, but I keep hoping the soreness will magically disappear overnight. Today was a show day along with the afterwords which I found out I wasn’t selected to speak for. Honestly, I felt like it was fate because my sore throat was bothering me. I would’ve much loved to conversate with people who were left intrigued by the performance . Afterwords is essentially a talk back with the cast; a chance to talk about what this process has meant to the actors. Even though I wasn’t up there talking, I felt like I was. It’s frustrating to be in a musical and feel like your instrument is giving out on you. I kept reminding myself to rest, to breathe, to drink more tea, and to be patient. I kept wanting to push, even when I knew I shouldn’t. Hopefully tomorrow is kinder to me than today was.
11/13/25
Tough Crowd?:
The audience tonight was… tough. You could feel it right away. Some crowds settle into the story with you while others may sit back like they’re waiting for the punchline. This one felt frozen. There were rarely any audience reactions to any parts of the show. Surprisingly the bracelet moment seemed to glide past them without it sinking in. We talked about it afterward during the mini afterwords, trying to open a window for them to understand why the bracelets mattered emotionally and spiritually. Some people got it, but others stayed distant. Things had gotten wild outside the theatre and suddenly we were on lockdown. It was eerie, but I knew we would all be okay. My mom was here tonight, which made everything feel more intense. We came up with as a whole, a mini afterwords everyone calm. They filled the space with questions about our creative processes, life after UMW, dream roles, and more. Basically all the things that make theatre feel alive. What could’ve been a scary night turned into something unexpectedly warm.
11/14/25
My Support:
Tonight felt like stepping into a soft, bright pocket of joy after so many emotionally heavy evenings. From the moment the pre-show announcements ended I could tell the audience was with us; leaning forward hesitantly but ready to give energy back. It’s amazing how much that changes the way a show feels. Every joke landed with this ripple effect like the laughter bounced across the whole theatre and then floated right back onto the stage. My aunts, cousins came, grandma, my boyfriend, and one of my friends showed up too. Seeing familiar faces during bows made the night feel extra warm. There’s something surreal about performing your heart out and then meeting the people you love in the lobby. Lots of their eyes were still bright from the performance while bombarding us with parts that made them laugh or surprised them. My grandma was genuinely shocked to learn that I can actually sing. She knows me, but I don’t think she ever imagined she’d see me on a stage like this. Inside the dressing rooms, you could feel that glow that only comes from a crowd who truly “gets” the show. I think we all needed a night like that. For once, we weren’t exhausted from emotion; we were energized by joy.
11/15/25
Two Doe Shay:
Two-show days always have their own rhythm. They are always long because there’s not much time to rest in between. I had the Instagram takeover, which meant all morning I was bouncing around capturing behind-the-scenes of an actor’s life. Then came the sensory-friendly performance at 2pm. It was gentler in some aspects;a feeling like a tech rehearsal. We got to meet Joshua, Mary’s son, and Quin. Quin is the little girl who was so excited she eventually fell asleep. She honestly just melted my heart. In the middle of all that sweetness, I had a full-body reality check. During “Learn Your Lessons Well,” I slipped hard and slammed right onto my tailbone. It was one of those falls where your breath leaves your body for a second. I got up, finished the dance, but the ache settled in fast. We rounded out the night at Allman’s BBQ for food to fuel us through the next performance that was awaiting.. It was one of those days that wore me out but made me proud that I kept going.
11/16/25
A little goes a long way:
Today didn’t have any big dramatic moments or huge emotional spikes, but it had this steady softness running through it that I really needed. Sometimes theatre days hit you with chaos or adrenaline, but today felt like the universe put a hand on my shoulder and told me to breathe. We moved through the performance and with this almost relaxed energy. I caught myself noticing small things like the way the lights looked when they turned on one by one or the little jokes we make during warmups that only make sense to us now. The dressing room was filled with that familiar buzz. I love how comforting that environment became. It’s probably because we’re nearing the end and every moment suddenly feels worth remembering. Every moment seems like we’re unconsciously trying to hold onto the time we have left.
11/20/25
Kids in the Crowd:
I woke up today with my emotions sitting right under my skin. One wrong tone or thought about the show ending as going to make me crumble. When I found out there were kids in the audience tonight, I became more aware of my storytelling. Kids bring this open-hearted energy because they watch without judgment, laugh without hesitation, and believe in the story simply because we tell it. It made me want to give them a performance that felt joyful and full of truth. Once the show started, all that heaviness I’d been carrying turned into fuel. I wasn’t performing through tension—I was performing with purpose. Every song felt like a chance to create something for them the same way theatre stuck with me when I was their age. The more I focused on them, the more the emotional pressure inside me softened into something manageable. I almost broke during the finale, but I let the emotion color the performance. It became the quiet strength I needed to get me through the show. By the time we bowed, I felt lighter than I had all day. Kids really do have a way of pulling the best out of you without even trying.
11/21/25
What a great team we’ve built:
Tonight’s show, I didn’t realize how much I needed a crowd like this until we were already halfway through Act I and I could feel their reactions vibrating right through my body. It wasn’t even the kind of polite theatre laughter you sometimes get with adults, it was that explosiveness. Jeffrey’s old high school came and they were loud in the best possible way. Not obnoxious loud, but alive loud. Every time a parable happened, they would burst out in laughter. Personally, I used that as fuel to keep me going. I caught myself smiling at moments I never smile in just because the ripple of energy kept bouncing back toward us. Even the scenes that usually drag or feel slow to me had a pulse. It’s wild how much the audience shifts the shape of the show, especially one that relies on connection the way Godspell does. You can rehearse something a hundred times, and it still won’t feel real until the right crowd shows up. I also felt more grounded tonight. Maybe it was the laughter or just knowing the crowd was really with us.
11/22/25
Coming to an end:
The sadness came in slow today, like the haze rolling in across the stage. It was sitting in my chest knowing that the end of our run was creeping closer. I kept trying to shake it off, but every time someone laughed, I would get hit with this wave of I’m going to miss this so much. Everything felt slightly heightened. The warmups, the mic checks, the silly little backstage rituals. I caught myself looking around more often, almost like I was trying to memorize the room, the people, the way it all looked and sounded and felt. The performance itself went smoothly, but underneath everything there was this quiet ache. Even when the audience smiled or reacted, I was thinking about how soon we won’t be doing this together anymore. It’s bittersweet in a way I didn’t expect. I’m so proud of what we’ve built yet so sad that we’re almost done building it. I left the theatre holding onto the lingering warmth of the cast, wishing I could stretch the time out just a little longer.
11/23/25
The last two doe shay!:
I still feel hollowness in my chest today. I woke up knowing it was our final day, but it didn’t really hit me until we were all backstage getting ready for the matinee and the dressing room felt quieter than usual. The first show of the day went by in a blur. I kept trying to hold onto moments, but everything felt like sand slipping through my hands. The ensemble numbers hit harder; we were all clinging to each other without saying it out loud. When we finished the finale for the matinee, I felt that familiar lump in my throat, but I held it together. I kept thinking, I still have one more performance to get through so I can’t fall apart yet. Now the evening show… yea that one completely broke me. From the very first beat, I could feel the difference. Ciara’s parents came again, and Jonah’s parents sat out there too. I was already teary eyed before the show even began. Knowing they were there made everything sharper, deeper, and more fragile. I don’t think anyone in the cast held anything back. Every song felt like the ending and each scene felt like a core memory forming right in front of us. By the time we reached the final sequence, I could feel my chest tightening. Once the lights hit, the music swelled, I lost it. I wasn’t performing grief—I was living it. Tears were already running before I could stop them. That’s a different kind of heartbreak, one only theatre people understand. When we bowed, I could see Jonah’s mom sobbing from the audience, and that made me cry even harder. It felt like the whole room was grieving with us with gratitude. It was everything we poured into this show coming back to us all at once. Backstage became a mixture of hugs, tears, laughter, and those silent moments where you look at someone you’ve spent weeks building a world with. One of the actors was withdrawing from the university this very night and that’s what added a deeper ache to it all. It wasn’t just goodbye to the show, it was goodbye to a piece of our family.